7 Things I Do When Giving A Permanent Chore To My Kids
Here are “7 Things I Do When Giving A Permanent Chore To My Kids” The reason this process is SO important is that it not only sets our kids up for success as they earn new responsibilities, but it gives us a window into what they still need our help with in learning before we allow them to take the task over.
So let’s jump right in…
When I was a new mom, I was always looking for chore lists for kids ideas. I would search things like: What was the easiest chore list for kids, age appropriate chore list ideas, and maybe you have found yourself typing in those same questions into your search bar.
While those are helpful… The question was to me was, how do you set your child up for success when taking on a new responsibility. And this is a tried and true method I have found that works!
Help your kids take ownership of there chores by use my “7 Things I Do When Giving A Permanent Chore To My Kids” template.
#1 Really think about it, is it one that is age-appropriate?
I like to give them things a little out of their reach because often our kids feel more confident and they can do more than I think many times.
#2 Talk to them about the chore and what stewarding this job will entail.
I want their thoughts, I want all their questions. Are there aspects of this job that may be too much? This is the time for discussion.
#3 Talk to them like you want them to act.
Don’t ever talk down to them, every job is important even the small ones. This gives them a confidence boost knowing they know that doing this job brings value to the home and I wouldn’t be asking them to do it if I didn’t trust them to do said task.
#4 The first 3 times they do the task I will help.
The first time, they get to watch me do it, the second time they get to help me do it, the third time I will watch them do it. Depending on the task I may need to do it a couple more times but more often than not, I don’t need to do this process longer than that.
#5 Let them know that if they ever need help all they have to do is ask.
Just tell me what they need help with and I will do it. I make sure I don’t go in and help them with what I think they need help with. Don’t just help, be helpful to what they need. This rarely happens though because they generally can handle it. If they do need help it’s because they just felt a little overwhelmed that day and wanted me to be there. I don’t mind that at all. If I see something missed, I’ll point that out and show them how to do it again.
#6 Don’t assume they are being lazy if you come in and it hasn’t been accomplished.
Even if that is the case that they decided to be “lazy,” I talk to my kids as if they meant well because our assumptions can blind the way we deal with things, and if we are wrong in our assumption it can be extremely hurtful and they will lose trust in you, and rightfully so!
My response? Hey, is there a reason this job didn’t get done? I am happy to help, is there something too hard to do? More often than not the response is… “No Mom, I can do it, I am sorry I forgot, I’ll go do that now.” More times than not, if treated well your kids are very good little humans that have shortcomings just like the rest of us. Just give grace, guidance, and consistency. Those three things go a long way.
#7 This last rule I have with my kids, is that when I give them a job in our home to steward, we both agree and have the understanding that I am trusting them.
This gives them the feeling that I have confidence in them, even if they don’t always do it perfect, I trust them with these tasks. No, they don’t love them all the time, but they care about the fact that they have been entrusted to steward it and steward it well.
Our kids don’t need to be belittled, it’s consistency, repetition, assuming the best in them, and being respectful, that brings easier more constructive results. Also, bear in mind you may have over tasked them and may need to split the job in two so that they are less overwhelmed.
Lastly, as I said earlier, you will deal with your children and teens differently if you are always assuming they are trying to be lazy or naughty, or have ill intentions.
The way you handle them might be training them to be exactly what you don’t want them to be.
By doing this, you have literally put them in a lose-lose situation. Assuming wrongly, IS a form of bearing false witness.
Talk to them as if you are assuming they meant the best especially if you don’t know. If they did choose to just not do the task, this gives them the opportunity to not have the dignity stripped from them and a quick chance to go fix it.
If it happens more than twice intentionally we agree to a consequence when we are not in the heat of the moment. Thissaves so MUCH drama.
Clear expectations and kind consistency, far out ways any form of “punishment” you can do to a child. Deal with them assuming they want to and have the desire to do what’s right because generally, they do. They are kids still figuring out how to navigate life, not hardened criminals.
I hope this empowers you as you endevor to run your home more smoothly
Happy Homemaking!
Only one life to offer,
Andrea
